remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
