Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
