I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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