ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
