His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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