everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
