just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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