I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
