i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
