textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
