omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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