He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
