Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
