Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
