i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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