I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
