doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
