do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think weed is turning my hair brown
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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