Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
