yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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