You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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