I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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