Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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