Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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