You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
