we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
