Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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