You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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