You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize