addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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