i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Mom said you looked used
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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