I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
