So drunk its hurt
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sext me about skeletons
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
