ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize