watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
