let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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