Having a random hookup so left but love u
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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