HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
4 words: hood of his car
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Randomize
