I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need water and some morals
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
