If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just cropdusted the office
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
