Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
