I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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