Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
