I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
