Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
