Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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