My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
