I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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