yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
