don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize