i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
