Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
