Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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