What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
