Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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