The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
They took my balls.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
