I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
