My boss' voice literally gives me gas
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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