I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
is wine microwaveable?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
