Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
