dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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