it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
