you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
