do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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