Well apparently he's into motor boating.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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