If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
