All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We had sex on a dog bed..
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
