I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
